Good Sunday to everyone! A few times this week I was going to blog but thought I'd wait until Sunday. I have felt a need for therapy via this blog so I'll use it today. I shared a little with you last week about my confidence issues. I have examined it more this week and have discovered that it's not getting any better. On Thursday this past week, I had to set up two computers in the lunchroom in Target. The new employees started that day as well, setting up the shelves to eventually start stocking them. They were all in the lunchroom while I was setting up the computers and I almost had a panic attack. I was so intimidated by all these people who didn't know me. Now, if you know me at all, you know that I have never been shy or quiet and I can usually get a room full of strangers carrying on in minutes. But that has disappeared. I hate it. I think I know WHY this has happened and I plan to talk to someone about it this week, but I really hope I can get through it. I went to church this morning, which I haven't been to in a few weeks, the first couple of weeks were because I was sick and the other time was because of exhaustion from working so much (I know, no excuse, but I DID use it as an excuse because I just didn't want to be around people!) My job at Target is done now, so I'm going to get back to my old routine of gym every morning, Women's Bible Study on Wednesday (again, I'll be pushing myself to go because it's easier to stay away from people right now) and just seek out the friendships who make me a better me!
Okay, there endeth my weekly confession! haha
I have a couple of NSVs to share this week. This first one is the most important one. In Feburary 2007, God took one of most wonderful people on earth to Heaven to be with him, Nanny, my grandmother.
The night she passed away, the whole family met at my aunts house to make funeral arrangements, pray, sing, and just remember the wonderful and truly amazing woman she was. All her children then presented me with her Family Ring. I was shocked and honored to receive it. I am the oldest grandchild so I guess they thought it was fitting for me to receive it. I have never really been able to wear the ring because it only (barely) fit my wedding ring finger or my pinkies. I didn't want to wear it on my pinky because it would fall off. And I never had it resized because the jeweller said the back of the band was so thin it would break or they would need to add gold to it. Well I tried it on my right ring finger this week and it fits perfectly! I LOVE that I can wear it now and have Nanny with me all the time! This ring is one of the most precious things I own and I treasure it so much!
Another NSV happened when I went to Sam's Club in the states yesterday. I was walking down the clothing isle and saw all this nice women's clothing. I saw a top that I really liked and saw that it was only $4.81. I wanted it so badly but thought there was no way it would fit, even though the sizes go up to xxl. I held up the xxl and it looked like it would fit. Then I held up the xl and thought that I might even be able to wear that one. It has a draw string under the chest so I figured since I couldn't try it on, I would get the xxl and just pull it tight if it was too big. I got home and tried it on and I could have easily bought the xl! I haven't been able to buy clothes in regular stores in decades! So it was very exciting. Here's a picture - excuse the un-matching hat and dark bra underneath! hahaha
And this NSV cracked me up. I was in the shower the other day. I hardly ever get showers anymore because I just enjoy baths so much more, mainly because my job was really strenuous and it felt good to relax and WARM up in a really hot bath. Well, I was in the shower, washing up, and as I was washing my belly and under my chest area (sorry if that's TMI) I felt hard spots and I started freaking out. If there was a camera in the shower it would have ended up on America's Funniest Home videos! For about 15-20 seconds I was literally scared and wondering what kind of cancer this could be that I was suddenly dying from! Then I realized it was my RIBS! I've never felt my ribs before! hahaha Again, once the realization set in, I couldn't stop laughing - it was so funny how one minute I was dying from cancer and the next I was laughing hysterically about having ribs! hahaha (Sorry, no picture for this one! hahaha)
Well this past week I lost 2lbs for a total of 124lbs. It really feels like I blinked and suddenly had 124 pounds off. It has happened so fast, which I'm grateful for. I would not have been able to do this last job I had if I hadn't lost the weight because I wouldn't have been able to manoeuvre my body to do the physical aspects of it. Most importantly, I wouldn't be able to cuddle my kiddies like I can now and I just LOVE that!
1 Peter 3:4-6 But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
1 Samuel 16:7 For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.
Total Loss: 124lbs
This blog is both funny and emotional. The funny part is obvious and I suppose the emotional part is too. I am so sure that mom would be very very proud of your accomplishments, but I don't think that she would be happy that you have lost your self confidence. It also makes me sad. You are a child of God and God does not make junk! Remember that! I feel many many times that mom is in my presence, so I hope that when you look at your finger, you will feel her with you, giving you hugs, like she loved to do. That in itself should make you feel good! Keep looking up! Congratulations again. Love, Mom!
ReplyDeleteI love your blogs and while I may not comment often, I am proud of what you have accomplished and are accomplishing. I am especially pleased that you are wearing "nanny's ring" as I know she would want you to have it and treasure it as she did! She wore it proudly and I hope you do too! You look fabulous - beautiful and don't hide yourself or lose confidence! You are special to many people!
ReplyDeletei am so inspired by your dayna. your blog made me laugh out loud cause i can relate to everything you said. you have so many beautiful talents that God has given to you and i pray they will help you overcome your lack of confidence and build up your confidence to levels higher then you can imagine.you have accomplished so much and not just in weight loss. dont let your lack of confidence bring down all you have worked hard for. push yourself to get out and do things. i have had to do that as well. i also find once you get out the next time is easier and so on. i want to thank you for being you and for inspiring us with your voice, your laughter, your beautiful family and your amazing journey as well. blessings to you and your family. Sonia Downey
ReplyDeleteDayna I have so much adoration for you, You have been on quite a roller coaster since July...and you are to be commended for taking steps to ensure you'll be there for your family in the future....!!! 124 lbs is quite a feat to have accomplished....and you look good...!!If you wouldn't mind my saying that the pic you posted of yourself wearing the drawstring top is lovely...but horizontal stripes are not for you....until you lose more weight...they only bring the eye from left to right and announce how broad you are ( to coin a phrase )....!!! on the other hand , vertical stripes are better as they bring the eye up and down to show how tall and slim you are...be it optical elusions or not....!!!Your hard work at losing all that weight has done you great justice and you were always beautiful...but you are more beautiful now than ever....!! Incidently I tried to vote for your husband, but couldn't find a place to leave my vote...tried many, many times with no luck...!! but I'll keep trying...!!Keep up the good work ...I know that you are one of God's children ...and He knows that too...!!
ReplyDeleteHi Dana! You wore your new shirt to church today right? I loved it! You look fabulous! I am so happy for you and proud of how far you have come and am looking forward to seeing you at Bible study again :)
ReplyDeleteCathy MacInnes